This is a fine how-do-you-do. As I mentioned in last night's blog entry, I weighed myself. As usual, I had my heart in my mouth. I had eaten too much on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and was trying to offset this during the past three days before stepping on the scale this morning. Last Friday, I was at 154.5, then 154. Today I was at 152.5 pounds. In the words of Muffler from "Another Gay Movie," WHAT THE FUCK? So today I threw the calorie list out the window and just ate what I wanted.
Saying the word "fuck" in this entry brings me to the next topic. About a week and a half ago, I emailed Kari and told her the news in my world, including my awkward dinner with Bette and my father, especially when the topic of Justin came up. I mentioned in this email that Bette would have issues with this, reminding her how bad she was toward Kyle and Kari when they first got together, and referred to Bette as a "judgmental cunt."
I called Kari this evening to see how things were going (and to snoop out any hints as to when they are going to give me access to my niece), and she told me that she didn't like the what she termed "the c-word" and asked that I not use it again. I told her that I just was writing off the cuff (which is a big fat lie, I knew damn well what I was calling my stepmother), but she told me that I should know my audience and watch it. I said fine. Here is what I should have said:
(1) I was using the word in defense of her and my brother, and declaring exactly whose side I was on during that whole ordeal. I would think that this should count for something.
(2) I run with a group of contemporaries (oops, said it again!) who toss the word "cunt" around like it is the word "bronze." So perhaps I have gotten somewhat desensitized to it and it no longer has any impact, so I just used it without thinking. I didn't realize that it was so contemptuous (oh dear, will I ever stop using the word!!!) with her.
(3) Her mother can't stand Bette. She has probably used it herself.
(4) Kari is an adult. She has heard it before. She should get over it.
Anyway, Kyle is out of town, and of course there are more illnesses. So all I got was a boatload of empty promises that I will be able to see Josie soon. I am guessing that this will happen about the same time as Rich Uncle Peter and Aunt Barbara Dumbshit fall off the face of the earth and I actually become relevant. I'm not holding my breath.
I am extremely tired tonight. I was tired last night, but I couldn't get to sleep. Basically, I was thinking about the fact that Kyle and Kari are so full of excuses as to why I can't see Josie. But like I just mentioned in the last paragraph (and in my entry a week ago), I don't matter, since I don't have money like Kari's family, so I'm just not good enough to see Josie. It's almost a shame I lost all this weight; if I dropped dead of a heart attack, at least they might notice. Or not. You never know.
I hope I get a better night's sleep tonight. I have a load of laundry in the washer, and when it is done, I am heading toward the bedroom.
No comments:
Post a Comment