The Camping Queen

Let's see...where were we?

After Kyle and Company left (in a torrential downpour and coming home to no power), I went up to the camp with my aunt. We met up with BethAnne, David, and her brood. I hung out with the boys, then hiked up to the cabin where Chris and Matthew would be staying.

We then did more walking, when their counselor was bringing Matthew down the hill, saying he had a headache. Of course, he didn't; he really didn't want to stay there overnight. He wound up staying there anyway, but, according to BethAnne, both of the older boys are miserable. I'm getting ahead of myself here, though.

Once we got back to the house, I was pretty much done, and was ready to retreat. I knew that the next day was going to be a little rough, since camp would be starting.

I didn't sleep well last night, waking up at about five in the morning with the usual anxieties that I always have. I did go back to sleep, though, until about 7:30. I got myself ready with this feeling of sheer dread.

After picking up Sam and Ben, we went to the camp, where I was introduced as a volunteer, and was handed a huge pile of paperwork to fill out. Some of it was fairly easy to fill out, but some of it was a little difficult.

Since we are working with children, they have to be extremely careful about who they allow to work there. I understand that. But they had to know every address I had lived in since 1975, and every single person I had lived with since then as well. Some of my roommates (back when I lived with Diane and, later, Idiot Landlord) were so transient that I don't even remember their last names, let alone their ages. So I filled in what I could. I also haven't had a tetanus shot since 1994 or so, and I haven't had a physical since 2007.

But there were a couple of questions that I had trouble answering: one of which was: what is your relationship to Jesus Christ? Um...he is actually named "Jesús" and does my landscaping? Then they wanted to know my home church, and I have one. And that other pip, "what can you bring to a church camp?"

Jesus Christ, I have no fucking idea.

I don't care about the criminal background check and check of any sex offender registry; I just don't care to discuss religion. I'm sure that the instant that someone puts those little letters, "G", "A", and "Y" together and assigns them to me, I will be so far out of there it will make my head spin.

I was assigned to help a nice lady named Joyce, who is in charge of the littlest bunch of kids, which includes Ben. One of the kids, a little 5 1/2 year-old squirt named Peter, informed me that he was going to stick with me. It's good to have a fan.

Peter, though, is kind of a sad story: he has been in hospitals most of his life, and he has a pacemaker. But he is a very happy kid, and has a great imagination. He is in seventh heaven at camp.

For the most part, it wasn't bad. I'm not used to that kind of activity. And I would have preferred not to hear all this religious indoctrination. When lunch was served, they began with the "Superman Prayer". This is sung to the tune of the theme song to "Superman: The Movie", and begins with "Thank you God, for giving us food" and continues from there.

My question is this: unless they have seen it on DVD, what kid that age is going to get the reference from a movie from 1977?

By about 2:30, I really wanted to get out of there. I didn't hate it, but between the religion, the kids' commotion, and the lack of Diet Coke in my system, I had a splitting headache.

Going home was just as rough, since Sam and Ben are very loud, and my patience with them was just about at an end. My aunt mercifully stopped for me to get a drink, and Icees for the boys.

I was dropped off at my aunt's house, where I chilled until it was time to back there for dinner. Ben and Sam were still as loud, and had my uncle and I taken separate cars, I would have jumped ship upon finishing dinner.

At Tana's insistence, I now have a Facebook page. I am using a pseudonym because upon looking at some peoples' friend lists, I really don't know if I want to be found by a lot of these people. I have added all of three friends: Beth, Kari, and Tana. Whether I add more (or just delete the page altogether) remains to be seen.

I am very tired now, and I am heading toward the bedroom. If there are any more details, I will mention them in my next entry.

Eric Out.