I am taking some "me time" to report on today. I declined going to the county fair that is going on, mostly because I needed a little bit of time alone. So here's the latest.
Today was day two of the summer camp. This time, I have actually gotten to know the campers in our group. There are eight kids total. In addition to Peter, Ben and Sam (who is too old for our group but is there anyway), we have another little boy named Blayne, who is a little bit on the quiet side. Then, we have four girls: first, our little diva-in-training, Lily. She has to do everything different from the others, because she feels she can. Then we have Sydney, who is a nice girl who has an emotional attachment to her stuffed platypus Pipsqueak. We then have Anna, who has befriended Sydney, and is quite chatty. Rounding out our group is Erin, who just arrived today and is very quiet.
But I would be able to get to know the kids better if Sam wouldn't have hovered over me the entire day. This is probably why he is in our group instead of the one that is more appropriate to his age. He was a nightmare the entire trip there, and informed me that he would be with me all day. I told him that he needed to meet some of the other kids, but he wouldn't leave my side. Whenever he sat down, he pointed at me to sit beside him.
Ben, however, is very popular in the group. As soon as he got there, he was working the pavilion.
On the way home, having dealt with Sam all day, I was ready to be left alone for a while. But on the way home, he announced that he only had two friends at camp: my aunt and me. I told him that this was because he refused to leave my side and talk to anyone. He thinks everyone hates him.
Where have I heard this before? Perhaps I should take my own advice.
I also am concerned about giving the impression of impropriety of any kind. I have no idea if these people know that I am gay (and, in spite of what Julie says, not everyone can tell from the instant they meet me), and in a church camp, I'm not sure that these small-town folks would be too thrilled that a gay man is looking after their kids.
But there is one assistant counselor named Ewan, and it will be a surprise if he isn't gay. He is in his early teens, and he apparently has been going to that camp since he was little. But during this little introduction of everyone (in which the director Carol was banging a drum and told everyone that he or she was special), upon introducing Ewan, he responded "Aw, shucks" and gave his hand a limp-wristed flick that only a gay boy can do convincingly. His voice is changing as well, and is turning into the stereotypical "gay voice" (which I have). Much like me, I think his main job is to sit around and look pretty, since he doesn't seem to do much else.
And perhaps it is just my imagination, but every time I look his way, it seems that he is looking in my direction. If he wants to talk, he can.
I wound up going to A & M Pizza for a sandwich for dinner. This will be the only time I do this during the course of this visit. I have been surrounded by kids the entire day; I adore them, but I also need my "me time". That's what being an uncle is all about.
I have had trouble sleeping the entire time I have been here. Like at home, it isn't a matter of falling asleep, it has been a matter of staying asleep. I have been waking up at three or four in the morning with the same anxieties that I always have; my job, my eating, problems with my social life, the usual. My aunt also was up in the wee small hours of the morning last night, so we are both taking Advil PM tonight before bed.
We'll see how it works out.
Eric Out.
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