Persona Non Grata

It wasn't that great a day. While it was blessedly quiet as far as the amount of work, it was just rough otherwise.

In my boredom and annoyance, I grabbed a sheet of paper and started writing down what I was feeling. While I sometimes compose these blog entries in my head while walking, I rarely actually put pen to paper and write things out beforehand. However, this is what I wrote, beginning at 11:25 this morning:

"I walked in this morning to find my co-workers talking, and as soon as I entered, the conversation abruptly ended. Gee, I wonder what (or who) the topic of conversation was?

Let's face it: people are going to talk. There's not a thing I can do about it. But if they are going to talk smack about me, then I refuse to add any more ammunition to their arsenal. I have barely said word one to anyone today, and, truth be told, wasn't that interested in doing so anyway.

I was entirely too early to work today, so, even though Saturday is usually my day off from exercise, I decided to spend half an hour pounding the pavement. If I hadn't, I would have eaten.

I have been fighting this impulse since I got up this morning. First, I tried rationalizing eating a huge breakfast at McDonald's by telling myself that I was working a later shift. But then I decided to just eat my usual oatmeal. Then a trip on the scale showed another pound gone (to 157.5 lbs.), which fueled my rationalization reflex again. I started wondering if I could get away with two packets of oatmeal. Again, I fought this urge.

My struggle continued while walking. I passed the Corner Bakery twice, and both times I wanted to eat either a scone or a couple of of their cookies. Or, back in my earlier days, it would probably be both, washed down with about a gallon of Diet Coke.

I am next expecting this to become a problem once again when I go to lunch. After eating my rather paltry lunch, I will be at loose ends for the rest of the hour. If I can fight this (and a giant piece of cake would taste really good right now!), the next challenge will be when I get off work.

All of the excuses and justifications are there for me to go somewhere like Ledo or Five Guys to stuff my face: I haven't been to either since god-knows-when, I have not been having the greatest day (and this has been since I got up this morning), and I am now nearly eight pounds below my goal weight. But I have to remember that had I eaten at McDonald's, then had the baked goods, then lunch, then dinner at either Five Guys or Ledo's, we would be talking nearly 3500 calories. We would be wiping out that eight deficit rather quickly, wouldn't we?"

When I was at lunch, I did go and have two cookies at Corner Bakery, and did wash it down with Diet Coke. And for dinner I went back to ye olde kabob place, and had an okay dinner. So it wasn't so bad. I still want pizza or burgers, but I am able to wait a little longer.

I work tomorrow, and that means I have to get up early to walk before my shift starts. I don't want to skip. Julie would want this. Then I am off Monday.

And this is kind of off-topic, but would it be improper to say that I really don't like Alicia Keys? I won't deny that she is a talented musician, but I just don't like her music. Her voice is just too whiny.

On that, good night.