Another Creep

Once again, I am piquing the interest of yet another guy whose attention I would rather not have.

This guy works where I do, in another department. In my tradition of work, he will not get a name; he does not even merit a pseudonym.

From the moment I saw this dude, I could tell that he was gayer than a sack of rainbows. He is also married, evidenced by the ring on his left hand. He also mentions his wife and two children every so often.

But when he first started working there (he has been there for a little more than a year), he told me that I was cute. Later on, he told me about how he went to Dupont Circle for one reason or another. Later, he told me about how he likes to go to see Liza Minnelli in concert, but he likes to go alone because he likes to scream without his wife and kids knowing about it.

He is taller than I am (who isn't?), and when I was talking to him, he started looking intently at me and licking his lips like I was his last meal on earth.

And today, because of crowding in the break room, I happened to be sitting at the same table as he was, and we were talking about satellite radio, and I mentioned which stations I liked, and made the mistake of discussing that I liked the disco channel while I was distance driving. He told me that his favorite channel was the Broadway channel. Big shocker.

To quote a favorite book of mine (The Brothers Bishop by Bart Yates), "if he's heterosexual, then I'm a dachshund." And he is dropping hints like mad.

Why, oh why can I not attract someone who is somewhat normal? I don't ask for a lot in a man: is it too much to ask for a boyfriend to be funny, intelligent, gay, single, gainfully employed, and honest? And if he looks like Patrick Warburton (pictured to the left) and has a dick to his knees, that would be secondary, but a nice bonus.

I clearly am doing something very wrong.

I still have five days left before I go on vacation. I feel like I have worked far more than three shifts in this eight-day streak. I really wish I didn't dread going to work every day.

But this is what we have to do to get along. Tomorrow I have another borrowed book (a recent Danielle Steel novel), and I will put my nose into that one.

Eric Out.