Can't Julie Take A Hint?

I am off today, which is a good thing. It was also good that I didn't tell Julie about this, because I would be stuck entertaining her. So I did the usual on my weekend day off. I started on the scale (156 lbs.; I am getting a little scared), and then got myself to breakfast (I ate two sandwiches instead of one, adding 290 calories to my day), and hit the mall at nine for walking.

I had decided to go to the movies, so I went and got a ticket, using the gift card I had received for my birthday. I had a lot of time to kill before the show started, so I went to Borders, which is nearby. As I entered, my cell phone rang.

Now, on my days off, I have my cell phone on for the important people in my life. If my family, Beth, Diane, or someone like that needs to reach me, I am very quick to answer the phone. I looked and saw that it was Julie. Perhaps fate smiled on me that I had gotten my ticket already, so I had an out for the afternoon. So I reluctantly answered it.

Here is how it went:

Me: Hello?
J: Is Cleo with you?
Me: No.
J: Do you know where he is?
Me: No.
J: Are you home?
Me: No.

She then went on her usual diatribe about how she had told Cleo that if they were going to get rid of their landline, then he had to be where he could reach his cell phone, and how pissed off she was. She then asked me, "So I guess you're off today?" I said "yes." Duh. Would I be answering my cell phone at 10:30 in the morning if I was off? She then asked me if I was going home soon and I told her no, I was going to the movies. She has expressed an interest in seeing "Juno", but that was not what I was going to see, thank GOD! So she let me go, and I saw the movie, went back to Borders for a while, and came home. I am having kabobs tonight for dinner; I am hoping Diane will join me, but I be eating them with or without her.

But back to the title of this post: by now, she has noticed that when I am off, I get up early and go walking (she doesn't know about my Morning Civility), and I come home whenever. She has observed that I am not home much. Does she not realize exactly what (or who) I might be avoiding? And the fact is that Cleo didn't answer his cell phone because of one simple fact: HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO HER! I don't want to talk to her! No one wants to talk to her! When a person speaks so loudly that she makes my ears ring, and when a person does nothing but gripe and complain, and when a person tries to sabotage my health, why would she think that people want to talk to her? HELLO???

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely why I had a cell phone for more than a year before Julie knew about it. It is also why, once I get out of this house, Julie will be deleted permanently for every bit of media bearing her name.