Déja Vu

From a cheap-ass ballpoint pen at work, from 7:20-7:50 pm:

I have a little more than an hour and a half remaining in my evening shift, and I hope I can get to bed tonight without undoing my day. An evening with Cleo last night kept me steady, and I feel like I am back in a little more control over my eating. My belt doesn't feel like a tourniquet right now, and that isn't a bad thing.

Work has been a little rough this week. I don't know what happened while I was gone, but now both of my coworkers are shunning me. It has made my rotten mood even more so. I guess it is very much a blessing that my book club shipment arrived last week. I have been back at work three days, have finished one book, and have started to plow through the second one. I have put it aside for now, though; tomorrow is probably going to be terrible, and I will need the book to get through it.

Making matters more painful to my psyche involves a message I got this afternoon. Beth, as I have reported, has basically vanished; no emails, texts, phone calls, nothing. Today I got a text message: "I'm moving to Boston :)" That's it. No details.

Let's see...someone disappears for weeks, then drops a bomb on me, announcing a move via text message...sounds familiar, doesn't it? I left a message for Beth, asking her to call me, and mentioned what I just said. At least it wasn't at 3:13 this morning.

So, my friends (as John McCain used to say), I had a tradeoff: a decent vacation, then coming home to a lot of grief. Worrying about work and the demeanor of my coworkers caused me to wake up at 4:30 this morning with my heart pounding. I never did get back to sleep. So obviously, I am journaling to stay awake tonight.

Julie is in Canada this weekend, so Cleo and I might be going to Freddie's on Saturday night. Even though he is "straight", he has wanted to go, and since after the stress of this week at work, plus the stress of Josie's birthday party, I will want to sing out my frustrations. And anyone who doesn't like it can cover his or her damn ears.

That being said, I am still tired as can be, but I have not ingested any caffeine since 4:30 this afternoon. I am listening to "Escape" on the satellite radio (so you know how tense I am, since this is the only time I can stand the elevator music channel). I had to take a flying run to Target tonight for juice, cell phone time, and band-aids (my new shoes are causing me some nasty blisters), and then it was home for a mini bagel and a glass of V-8 (and a total day of 1750 or so calories).

So I am going to bed, only to rise again to much trepidation for tomorrow. I end this entry with a big happy birthday to my princess Josie. Once again, I say that Uncle Eric loves you bunches, even if your stupid daddy is ashamed of his family!!!

Eric Out.