Back When A Blog Was Called A "Journal"...

I put pen to paper and wrote the following today:

"It is about eleven o'clock in the morning, and I am sitting here, languishing away at work. I am the third person in today, and I really don't know how I feel right now.

My first thought is, "I wish I wasn't here today." But the fact is that if I were off, I would probably be stuck entertaining Julie. Since she has no friends, she essentially is the Human Leech on our mutual days off. Also, let's keep in mind that I do tend to get bored on a lot of my days off, triggering my eating compulsion. So perhaps I should be at work.

Here at work, it is extremely quiet. So I am twiddling my thumbs here; this is not necessarily a bad thing. Life is far less tense here now that Daisy May is gone. But I can't say anything like that, because in the eyes of everybody else, Daisy May is a saint. Once she decided that I was the Most Hated Person in the department, she was nasty to me exclusively. But she is part of the past, and I am soon to become nothing but a wine-soaked memory to her.

So let's see...I don't want to be at work, but I don't want to be off. I don't want to go anywhere with Justin on Monday (we have plans), but I don't want to go out with anyone else, but I don't want to hang out alone. So the only thing left is to fall off the face of the earth. And that isn't an option.

So I am handling this the best way I know how: today will be a "tune in/tune out" day at work, where I will shut everything and everyone out. I will have dinner at Subway, go home, and finish laundry. And hopefully, by the time I enter this into the computer, things will not be so up in the air."

That time is upon us, and things are a little bit better. I got through the day (with the help of some coffee that was so strong that it made my eyeballs sweat). I am a little more open to the idea of spending the day with Justin on Monday (and the night on Sunday at his house), and we will see where it goes.

I ate about 1400 calories today, which makes my third day of mitigation for the previous week. I hope the scale reflects it tomorrow. I was at 154.5 pounds this morning, but let's keep in mind that the last time this was the case I was at 151.5 the next day. We will see tomorrow.

I have packed most of my "trick bag" for tomorrow, which also has a t-shirt in there for tomorrow night. Heaven knows that I have enough Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts in my closet that I can wear an extra one. I have to wait until tomorrow to pack my toiletries and my shorts, which still aren't dry from being washed yesterday. I also have to find some kind of reading material. Perhaps I will bring the book I have been reading at work with me to read. I will have a full report about how the day went in my next entry.