Gay Indifference

Last night, Justin and I went to Freddie's, but instead of karaoke, they had a concert kicking off Gay Pride Week. We were there for two of the artists, one of which whose CD I bought (his name is Jon Bozeman), and then Justin came over and spent the night.

I really don't know if I am feeling my gay pride or not. The fact is simple: I have known that I liked the male of the species as long as I can remember. I remember being about five years old and noticing the boys on the swim team when they had practice. They wore Speedo bikini bathing suits, and I noticed various parts of boys' (and mens') anatomies, hairiness, and all that. This was long before I knew anything about the concept of "gay" or even the term. So anyone who thinks being gay is a choice is completely ignorant.

So why should I feel pride in something I didn't choose and can't control? I also didn't choose and can't control my eye color either, yet there is no Blue Eyed Pride Week. I don't believe that anyone should have to be closeted, but I also don't feel the need to be particularly in anyone's face about it, either. I have a rainbow chain on my rear view mirror, but that's about it. I don't feel the need to drag my homosexuality into every conversation. If I come out to someone, I don't need to repeat it. They heard me the first time.

Before anyone judge me, I do talk about things that Justin and I do, and people know that he is my boyfriend, but I talk about things that anyone could do, regardless of romantic involvement: movies, bowling, karaoke, and other things that I have been talking about in this blog for the past four months (and yes, dear readers, it has been four months!)

I kissed Justin goodbye at the bagel place today before he went to work. I wish I could do this without feeling like I am making a scene, or making a statement. I have very mixed feelings about public displays of affection, and my feelings are whether we are talking about a man and a woman, two men, or two women: as far as I am concerned, if you haven't seen someone in a while and hug hello, that's fine. A quick, dry kiss goodbye? No problem. Holding hands while walking in the mall? Sure. Groping each other on one of the old man benches in the mall? Please don't. Tongue-kissing on the escalator at a department store? Get a room. Let's have some decorum, folks.

Since no blog entry is complete without my talking about my eating, we will now get it out of the way: I have been eating more than I usually do, but I have been indulging moderately. I have been eating some dessert each day since Thursday, but I also have not been overdoing it: two cookies here, a piece of cake there, and I have been eating good food otherwise, and the last time I skipped a day of exercise was May 29th. I came home from eating breakfast with Justin and Cleo and I went for a walk, and then I went to the pool. I didn't exactly swim laps, but I was constantly moving in the water, and I walked to and from the pool. I ate two bagels, and went to a vegetarian Chinese restaurant, where I had faux General Tso's chicken, which came with brown rice and steamed broccoli, and I have some Boca burgers for dinner, and I did pick up a couple of cookies for dessert. So I don't really think I have done that badly. I will just eat less during the next three days at work, and Thursday will be a skip day for exercise because Justin and I are going to dinner and a late movie, where we will sit in the back row. See my entry on February 27th for an explanation.