As The Dryer Turns

From the Fucking Cartier Pen, from 3:00-3:50 this afternoon:

There is truly something wrong when I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and the first thought that enters my mind is "in twelve hours the day will be done." Well, it is now about two hours until my shift is done, and it is hard to figure out things.

Petunia Gray, who tends to blow hot and cold with me, is now blowing cold, barely speaking to me. Oh, well; if I don't say anything, then there will be nothing to pin on me during the next wig-out.

Basically, it is a "tune in/tune out" day today. I have, for the most part, been keeping my head down and working. When I finished the paperwork I did my puzzle and then buried my head in the latest issue of The Advocate, which came on Thursday.

For what it's worth, days like this aren't bad, but whenever the feeling gets tense, I dread what will happen when I come back to work after a day off. But these days, what else is new?

I called Diane this afternoon to see if we were on for our weekly kabob, but she already had made plans with her friend. She said she would ask if I could join. I declined. The fact is that I don't want to drive all the way to Chantilly tonight, and I just want to go home afterwards and do my laundry. I feel like I have had enough trouble faking enthusiasm recently. While I don't have to fake it around Diane, I feel like I'd have to around her friend. So I will either have to have a solo kabob or go somewhere else. So I still don't know where my car will wind up tonight. 

With all this, I have not yet opened my copy of Instinct. The way I have been blathering on about it, one would think that I would have read the whole thing last night. But if I plow through it, then that's it until early December. Regardless of whether I read it today or not, it is going with me tonight. After all, it's not like anything (or anyone) else is. But this might be another thing that could suddenly be offensive to Petunia Gray (even though it never was before), so it is not staying here.

I wound up going for that solo kabob, then to Target for two cookies and some groceries. I came home and started my laundry. It is now, for all intents and purposes, finished (the dryer just stopped), and now I can get into my pajamas and go to bed. 

The only problem is that it isn't even 9:30 yet. And with the clocks changing tonight, it would make it before 8:30, and if I went to bed now, it would be completely pathetic, and I would wind up awake at five in the morning. That might happen anyway.

Julie is throwing herself a "dutch treat" birthday party next Saturday. I will be going to some vegetarian Chinese restaurant. Oh joy, oh rapture, oh bliss. Not only do I have to spend time with Julie, I have to buy her a present and get my own dinner. Can't wait! Perhaps the world will open up and swallow me whole before next week. Between work, my decaying relationship with Justin, and my lack of a social life, it might be preferable.

Eric Out.