Gay Lingo

One site I look at regularly is the "Men Seeking Men" section of Craig's List, mostly for laughs. These people are pretty sad, but right now, I have half a mind to answer an ad or two. But I found this on the site tonight, and I got a laugh out of it. Here it is, through the miracle of Cut and Paste. It was titled "Gay Speak for Craig's List Users."

VGL = Vocational goals lacking. 

Gym regular = I had a bowel movement after I got out of the sauna today. 

Moderately Hairy = I look like I’m wearing a black Angora catsuit. 

Strong Daddy type = I’m still chasing after the guys I couldn’t fuck when I was 20. 

Mild to wild = After we make out a little, I’m going to chain you to the refrigerator and beat you with an ironing board. 

Looking to travel = Live in my mom’s basement. 

Bi-curious = I tell my tricks I have a girlfriend. 

Not into the gay scene = Nobody talks to me at the clubs. 

Seeks generous = I’m a whore. I’ll steal shit. 

100% Straight = see Bi-curious. 

Jock = I have one in every color. 

Football player’s build = I’m not morbidly obese yet. 

Let’s do this now! = see Seeks generous. 

Adventurous = Pee on me. 

Slim/feminine = I have a Hello Kitty tote bag and I can walk through a harp. 

6' 130# bottom = I have HIV 

Seeks other masculine dudes = That tranny really freaked me out. 

Total Top = Why can’t I meet a man that’s as good as my dildo? 

Hosting = I’m just not horny enough to leave the apartment. 

Putting together a group = I’m opening my house to whores. Shit will be stolen. 

Must be discreet = I’m up for re-election. 

Can’t host = My boyfriend couldn’t find a trick either. 

Bareback only = I’m as dumb as a sack of hammers. 

No limits = I’m as dumb as a sack of hammers and feel free to hit me before you go. 

Looking to party and play = I couldn’t score any shit so I’ll blow you if you get me high. 

Power bottom = You could stick a hand up my ass and flip a coin.

I thought it was pretty funny. But what's wrong with having a Hello Kitty tote bag?

I am once again doing laundry on Saturday night, but I am doing okay. Tomorrow I am going to be feeding off the crumbs of my brother's hospitality and going to their house to see them and Josie. I told my dad that I wanted to talk about how they have essentially cut me off, and he got all whiny about how he just wanted a nice visit and all that. But I mentioned to Kari that I had an Easter gift for Josie (subtle, no?) and she got the message.

So tomorrow, I will be heading out with my camera, my smiley face pillow, and will be picking up some carbohydrate-based salad (either pasta or potato) when I get there. I will probably be too early, and will hang out at the mall nearby. You know that I don't mind this, with the Latino men that tend to be there.

So...hopefully I will have a new photo or two of Josie on the blog with my next entry. And I will have a full report about how things went. 

I finally bit the bullet and renewed my subscription to Entertainment Weekly for another three years. This means that I won't have to worry about another magazine subscription until 2011, when Instinct comes up for renewal. Everything else gets renewed in 2012 (MAD, if it is still in business by then), 2013 (Out, Reader's Digest, Entertainment Weekly), or 2014 (Advocate). I don't know if I will be renewing Utne Reader, since I don't even think about it until the issue arrives.

Eric Out.